How I screw up the 5 simple steps to a positive life

I’m having one of those days where I woke up feeling all depressed, gloomy and irritated. If PMS and depression had a baby, it probably look like this. I do not get this once over a blue moon. I get this several times a week. It sometimes last for half a day or a whole day. If it rolls onto the next day, it feels like PMS + depression + godzilla + the exorcist.

So I thought i google on how to be positive for days like this. I found this article by Dani. I love how the tone is relatable and the steps she mentioned are simple and easy to remember so that we can constantly remind ourselves.

So after reading the article twice, I started to jot down mentally on some past experiences and how I can turn it around into something positive and be all bright and shit so that I will not be haunted by it anymore.

So here it goes, how to be positive using the 5 steps are from Dani‘s article.

Step 1: Believe Happiness is a Choice

Dani spoke about its up to us to be happy or unhappy instead of pushing blame on others for the reason of our unhappiness.

I agree that this is a more logical approach but sometimes we are so overwhelmed by the bad situations that we only look at the blame game to explain why the world’s greatest shit has befallen and are dripping over our heads.

I am so guilty of this on so many levels. Especially at work, come on people, you agree with me that this has happened before at your workplace. Unless you work at a weed dispensary where people are all smiley and high. ( This is just my opinion, I have not visited any weed dispensary so I don’t know.)

I worked for 2 banks before and this blame game is all over the place. People playing it and are in it to win it. This is not some friendly game where there is a referree punishing you if you are not playing nice. We can get blame for shit that was not caused by us and the people that actually caused the shit are going all batshit crazy on us. I know you guys are massaging your bruised egos by throwing people infront of the bus. I hope I am at the hearing when the time comes for you  to stand infront of god to confessed your crimes. I hope I’m at the jury stand.

Despite the unnecessary added workload and the time to babysit and spoon feed babies that are screaming at us, I will not blame them babies for the stress inflicted on me that might have contributed to my gastritis and sleepless nights.

See? I’m all grown and matured and not cursing you damn babies that knows nuts about your job and all you know is that fairies comes in to clear shit at the end of the day.

Step 1 is done; my future life filled with positivity is going smoothly.

Step 2: Rid Your Life of Negativity

Dani talked about removing negative people from our lives as they will influence us to be that way. I fully support this. It is hard to be a Disney Princess if you are surrounded by the characters from Game of Thrones and I meant the awful sadistic characters. How can I possibly be my best chirpy self if there’s a Joffrey Baratheon and Tywin Lannister lurking somewhere. I also have a motherf-ing traitor, Theon Greyjoy in my area as well. For work, it seems really impossible to avoid as you cannot just switch jobs just because Joffrey is shooting arrows at live human targets. This advice is more for friends that you are surrounded with. I have to admit, I did my ‘cleanse’ back when I was in university. I removed superficial friends and keep the good ones that I can see us continuing to be good friends in 10-20 years’ time. Also, they have seen me at my unglamorous crazy shit times so I have to keep them close to keep an eye of them.

Step 3: Look For the Positive in Life

This step is all about looking for the good in every bad situation. I bet many of you out there will curse and threaten all kinds of violence first before you did this. High five mate.

So I remembered this incident where I tried to make pancakes for the first time from scratch. I know you ‘professionals’ out there is like sneering at me. I am leaving my Betty Crocker’s training wheels behind so yes this is some huge accomplishment that deserves to be blogged.

I went to allrecipes.com to search for the recipe and instructions. Holy shit there were tons of pancakes recipes out there. I do not understand because Betty Crocker only has one. Why do we need so many recipes to make pancakes? Don’t we have a generic recipe that we can use for the human race? After shaking off the feeling that the world is not as small as I perceived, I picked one with a lot of star rating.

The problem with such recipes is that, there must be some special instructions missing from it. I can follow it closely but the end result is not what it seemed. Either these cooks are selfish or the pancakes are actually cooked by goblins so they don’t really know what special ingredient or extra steps that was supposed to be in. To give them the benefit of the doubt, it might be because I’m a terrible cook. Another highly likely reason over the previous one is that the ingredients are not as good quality or the pan used is of inferior quality to the kind the cooks have.

The pancake was browning nicely. When I meant browning nicely, it meant it has reached the fine line between the colour brown and black. It did not smell so pancake-like, more like sulphur? It was stiff and did not break apart easily; you need some jaw muscle to gnaw it apart. I have very high standards for myself so I deemed the pancake as a marginal pass.

The positive thing in this bad situation? I gave myself a pass despite being my first attempt. It also gave my jaw muscles something to work with.

Step 4: Reinforce Positivity in Yourself

I admit I did question myself if those pancakes were edible and that I can eat it without having to visit the ER. In step 4, Dani mentioned that we have to constantly remind ourselves to practice positivity.

As quoted by her article “its okay to not like everything about yourself (yet), but don’t spend energy dwelling on the negative.”

So I made the pancakes again. This time it shown very light tint of black and I can smell butter with the sulphur. This definitely warrants a grade higher than pass. I am proud.

Step 5: Share Happiness with Others

I took bits of the good pancakes and tried to feed it to my dog. My dog looked at me with her soulful eyes. It’s like she’s trying to search if I still have a soul in me somewhere and if I still love her. Of course I love her, I’m sharing my work of art with her, and I cannot believe how dramatic she is. She did ate some; not very gratefully I might add.

For all you dog protection squad out there, I know human pancakes are not a suitable dog food as it probably contain salt and whatever ingredients that looks innocent in our eyes but harmful to the dogs. My dog does like to eat pancakes but I only gave her small amount once in a blue moon as a treat. I don’t feed it to her every day with maple syrup; I’m not running a bed and breakfast at my home y’all.

So that’s how I used the 5 steps in my life. I know it may not seem as positive and life-changing, yet. It’s my first attempt and I need to constantly practise so that it really works. I may somewhat failed miserably at some of the steps but that is just me that happens to be on an off day. The article is a light hearted good read, so if you need some positive titbits today, click on the link below

http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/positive-attitude-happy-life/

P/S: Yes my dog is still alive and we do still love each other. We are working on it every day.

PP/S: I make another batch of pancakes using a different recipe and it turns out fluffy and buttery. I’m no longer a novice pancake cooker (does it sounds right?)

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