Flu meds are like my cannabis

I always try not take any sort of medication unless I really really need it. I will not even pop any pain meds for a slight headache or migraine unless it’s really hurting me like shit. My body does not take any medications lightly so a normal adult dosage for you will seem like a heavy one for me.

I remembered I once told a doctor that I might be allergic to augmentin because I was puking and having diarrhoea non-stop after having it. I really wanted to just move my bed into the bathroom to make things easier.

The doctor replied that it might be just the side effects as it’s a pretty strong antibiotics. I said I don’t care, it tasted like death, just put it down from now on I’m allergic to augmentin so we never have to cross paths again.

My family hates when the flu season comes. When there is flu season, I always get it. It’s not that my constitution is weak (well…maybe a wee wee bit), it’s just that my luck is so.damn.bad. I always, always get cough or sneeze at in my damn face! I have hand sanitizer in my bag with me at all times. I used it a lot especially when I’m at the atm machines. I’m generally a clean person. So I blame the people who spread their armies of bacteria through their gaping mouths!

People! God gave you hands for a reason! Use them for the love of god! Unless you are Satan’s minions trying to spread plague!

Anyway, reason why my family hates it when I have the flu is because doctors will prescribe me with drowsy flu meds and muscle relaxant for my body pains and constant headaches.

Drowsy flu meds + muscle relaxant + drowsy cough drops = high as fuck

Look, I have not taken any sort of illegal drugs/weed/cannabis so I don’t really know what ‘high’ really is like. I do drink and I am a very good drinker, I have never, ever gotten drunk before, only the feeling of like I’m floating. So I’m using that as a measurement of the level of fuckery.

And the drug combination makes me wayyyyy higher as when I drank my highest amount of alcohol (8 glasses of Cabernet).

When I took the drugs, it supposed to make me drowsy and sleepy. Only thing is, I usually could not sleep immediately. I talk like incessantly. I talked a whole bunch of nonsense till the cows came home. I talked to whoever it’s at home and if no one is home, I will call them, especially my mum.

When they hear my voice and the way I talk, they know that I’m on my concoction of flu meds.

Things I usually talk about are food recommendations (I strongly advice you not to heed them), my life story and sudden life epiphany.

“Why do butterflies have wings? They were caterpillars before, ugly and squirmy, then they stop facing the world for a while and the next thing you knew, they debut again with such beautiful bodies! Is this God’s way of telling us its ok to get plastic surgery because sometimes Mother Nature makes mistakes too??!”

“Mum, you should add pineapples in your peanut butter the next time. It will taste so great, salty and sweet and sour and juicy. Heck! Why not put pineapples in everything! Put them in your coffee! Put them in our mushroom soup and even the mashed potatoes! We should sell them on Amazon!”

After talking a whole bunch of nonsense (some I remember some I don’t), I will fall asleep and wake up as my usual quiet self. My family members will look a little disturbed though.

I’m quite amazed at myself the level of fuckery I can get. You know, you keep so much things in yourself, you need to release all the pent-up tension. What better way to do that than using flu meds and blowing up in front of your family (and friends).


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