“Sheltered”

I feel that many people have different meanings of “living a sheltered life”.

The meanings I observed so far:

  • thinking that you have anxieties/sick
  • not holding down a proper job
  • not doing what other people are supposed to do at your age

When I heard it, I wanted to speak out (in undeniably coarse language but unlike the person, I can hold back my words).

I know I kept talking about my anxiety issues and all that but that is exactly what this blog is all about. About my journey and a way to communicate with the community.

So first thing, you feel that my need to see a counsellor is excessive. I will have you know that there are some people who are going through a bad patch, who goes to a counsellor to have someone to talk to. That is what the counselling centre is for which I am very grateful to them. You do not necessarily have to be mentally ill to go to a counselling centre. If you are grieving or feeling stress, they are a good listening ear and they will pick up on any indicators if you are going to self-harm.

Imagine if someone is feeling depressive and suicidal, you telling them that going counselling is being over-dramatic and that person believe your fucking words and did not seek help. If this person did kill themselves, I wonder what you are going to say to people.

I will tell you what shit you will say.

“Who knew she was really that sick?”

“Why didn’t she get any help?”

“If I knew it, I would have drag her to see psych.” (Yea you fucking would…)

If you are feeling negative, losing hope and feel like cutting yourself, please do talk to somebody. Somebody who actually CARES for your mental well-being.

The person who said that you are probably seeking attention? Saying that is like telling a disabled person to stop pretending to use a wheelchair. That person does not care about you. Those person words are of NO IMPORTANCE TO YOU so do not listen to it. If it is your friend, you need to walk away from them and seek someone with more maturity.

That person is going to hell so I’m sure it ends nicely.

Always take care of your OWN mind and body. You are doing yourself a favour and saving yourself from a long recovery by detecting it early.

During this past year, I have people attacking me and using sarcasm on me for not having a proper job.

Dear people, if you want to insinuate that I live like this because I have a sheltered life? Please go read a book, do your research and maybe come down from your high horses before you come and challenge me with that phrase.

So you concluded that I’m a failure at not holding down a job, my start-up business not working out or seeking sick as an excuse. While my peers have got a job out of college, working their 9 to 5 jobs for years and never made any career decision mistakes so far.

I’m going to copy and paste the meaning of “sheltered” here and before that, please remember what was said in the previous paragraph.

sheltered – definition

someone who has had a sheltered life has not had the usual unpleasant experiences that most people have in their lives  – macmillandictionary

That’s weird…I have had so much failures so far and am diagnosed with anxiety disorder too. Am I not “sheltered” enough?

Are you not happy with this definition? Macmillan dictionary does not have better English standards than you?

How about this?

have/lead a sheltered life

disapproving to have a ​life in which you are ​protected too much and ​experience very little ​danger, ​excitement, or ​change -dictionary.cambridge.org

I have experienced a lot of change especially this past year. My career? Let’s see, from my first job at 16 working at a school’s bookshop till my current age at 27, I have worked in small and departmental retails, aerospace, pharmaceuticals, F&B and banking industries.

I remembered working 14 days a week continuously back then because there was some good over-time pay. I used the money to pay for my school books.

I did not went to college straight after due to financial difficulties so I worked for a year to saved up what would have only been enough for only a semester. I learnt about wine drinking at age 20. Worked as a clerk in the day and networking after work during wine tasting events.

Of course at wine tasting events there are people who cannot keep their hands to themselves and important people who you are not allow offending. Learning all the skills to handle at age 20 is scary. I got a boss that spewed vulgarities, hit on every female staffs and had crazy temper like throwing wine glasses and dumping food on staffs. I forced myself to stick it out for a year so as to make my resume looks good.

Of course after I went through all that, people still think I’m “sheltered”.

So fast forward now, I am working on a new business with no salary yet. I loaned money to someone who cannot afford to pay his child’s school fees, passed some cash to help someone for rent and like many times in the past, passed some cash to my parents to tide things over at the family business. Because I understand people with financial difficulties from the “sheltered” life I lead.

I am still paying my own bills and paying the medical fees for the past few months to treat my anxiety/insomnia. I did not tell my parents about my illness because I do not want them to worry. I am THAT “sheltered”.

How does someone do that with no salary?

Well…I did WORKED in the past and of course I did not blow my savings on extravagant lifestyle. That’s how “sheltered” I am.

Oh and another idiotic reason why people thinks that I get anxiety issues now? They said it is because I have been living a sheltered life for so long. I cannot seem to face the real facts of life now (Please fucking do your research! That is the most retarded reason to explain to people how anxiety disorder came about!).

Really? After all that, it is I THAT CANNOT SEEM TO FACE THE REAL FACTS OF LIFE.

How about YOU whose brain is so narrow that you cannot seem to accept the true facts that people have anxiety issues due to many reasons. It could be genetics; it could be accumulation of stress over the years. It could be many reasons which you will probably never understand because you cannot open your mind wide enough to accept the fact that it is different from you. Genocides happen because people in their high horses cannot accept others from being different. Read a fucking book!

You cannot accept people who have difficulties in their lives due to millions of reasons. You feel that everyone should be the same, find a job, go work 9 to 5, get salary on-time and do not share that you have mental illness.

YOU DO NOT WANT CHANGE. YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO BE CONSTANT. ANYTHING DIFFERENT FROM A SOCIETY’S PERCEPTION IS UNACCEPTABLE. BELIEVING YOU IS LIKE BELIEVING THAT UNDER PRIVILEDGE FAMILIES DESERVE THE HARDSHIPS THEY LEAD OVER SOMETHINGS THEY CANNOT CONTROL.

WHO IS LIVING THE SHELTERED LIFE NOW?

So WHAT if this business does not work out? I can accept failures; I will go out and find a job if need be. It is not the end of the world. I can accept this failure but I will never give up. I will grow from it, become a stronger person, become wiser and mature.

I can accept failures and it will not deter me from trying out new experiences because I’m not afraid to make mistakes. I will never settle just to make my life convenient for others to understand.

If you have never made a mistake in your life, it seems like you are not growing as a person. You are too afraid to be a failure or to be seen as a failure.

You are the one leading a sheltered life because you have never seen situations like this before. You cannot understand anything that does not fit in a box.

Stop telling people they are living a sheltered life when you do not know what the fuck you are talking about or their whole story.

Everyone is fighting a different battle. You putting down others and making them feel small is plain ignorant.

I know I’m leading a better life than you because I did not say such horrible things to people who are already feeling broken.

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