Still looking for unicorns

So it’s been awhile since I last blogged. Was losing my momentum to blog in the past few months.

Not that any of you care but I was on neopets/daily skype with a friend in Florida/dying over medication side effects pretty much occupied.

So over the course of the past months, I have tried 3 different medications for my anxiety and insomnia. With new medication come new rounds of side effects that either makes you nauseated, headache, drowsy and the most horrifying nightmares of your life for several nights.

I also did some blood work to rule out thyroid.

To be honest, I prayed that I got thyroid. That way all my issues can be explained and the doctors know how to treat it immediately. It is also much more ‘convenient’ to tell people what is wrong with you. Because God knows that telling people you have anxiety disorder, panic attacks and peppered with insomnia is not exactly a good conversation starter (unless you are chatting with a bunch of people with anxiety issues, those are perfect!).

So my third medication gave me night terrors and I told myself that for sure I’m never sleeping again. But it went away and I slept so easily in years! It also boosts my appetite and I am eating so much more now than I ever did.

I almost cried because a healthy appetite and being able to lie in bed and doze off in 10mins is like a gift I took for granted. If I were a spiritual person, I would say that I’m seeing life in a whole new light now.

Nearly 2 months in with the new medication, I found myself not being able to sleep again.

Coincidentally, Alan Rickman died.

It’s like my body knows that we have lost a great wizard.

To make it even more scary, I was doing a Harry Potter marathon and watching the behind the scenes and interviews with casts. When I received the news, it happened where they were showing the last movie that Richard Harris did before he passed away.

It was like I’m reliving The Deathly Hallows in real life.

Harry Potter will always be the most treasured literary works and movies in my life. When the author was writing it, she was a struggling single mother and she had depression. It is like something beautiful and amazing can come out of the dark.

The books also show that darkness never prevails.

Darkness never wins.

And true to that, the past few months when I had insomnia and had watched every DVDs I had twice over, I found out that Netflix is coming out.

Netflix…the beacon of light in my insomniac life.

Thank you cosmic universe.





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