I am a silently vulgar person

This blog post is especially for AJ. She misses my blog post and her bowels could not function well if I do not post something on my blog.

So ever since I have been helping out at a start-up company, I got to experience what it was like to do business in a foreign place. It is so challenging because there are shit tons of things you could not control. It made me look at things in a bigger picture. Some of the things I was stressed out before did not seem that much of a big deal now.

As I got to talk with more people, I am beginning to curse vulgarities in my head so much more.

I have known people who struggle with family issues, financial issues, mental wellbeing and basically, struggle with life. I guess this taught me a lot on how I should speak to people and to always speak with kindness because you never who really needs it. I have first-hand experience with anxiety disorder, insomnia and depression. I understood the struggles in finding the right doctor who does not try to dumb you down with medications. The right counsellor who honestly work with you on your issues. The right medications that do not make you want to just kill yourself.

I am not someone who cries easily, which might not be a good thing. When my dogs died, I did not cry at all. I was just numb. I only finally cried weeks later.

During my insomnia period, I cried almost every night. Can you imagine, being so tired mentally and physically, but you just couldn’t sleep? You laid in bed for hours with your eyes shut, but you cannot sleep. I got so exhausted, extremely exhausted and just cried. Crying makes me even more tired but I still could not sleep.

When I mentioned to people about my insomnia and anxiety issues. I received run of the mill senseless responds.

“You are not doing enough”

“It’s your fault that you landed yourself in this situation”

“You are lucky you only have insomnia while there are people who have cancer”

I am not a confrontational person, so I just smile and nodded. In my mind I’m like saying

“Oh my god this woman is a numskull!”

“Does this person know exactly what is called insomnia?!”

“This woman got shit for brains”

I can understand if you are a child or a teenager. But I’m sorry as a working adult who faces tons of people; your EQ is incredibly low. By saying such comments, just goes to show you do not have empathy nor general knowledge.

Just because you do not struggle with sleep, does not mean others are doing fine by default. I did wondered how many people you offended at work that you did not even realized.

Shame on you for trying to belittle someone’s unfortunate situations and by comparing them to others.

It is easy to turn a blind eye and not want to be involved because you are afraid to get yourself into more trouble. That is your decision, I would not stop you. However, you should know that you get what you give in life. When your time comes where you are at the most difficult times of your life, do you wish to receive concern out of obligations or out of sincerity, loyalty and friendship.

To the people who said those senseless comments to me. I am not obligated to help you in times of need in future. I am certainly not going the extra mile to reach out to you and make you happier.

There is this saying that I love.

Enter a caption

Credit quotesgram.com


You cannot control what will happen to you in future but you can always control your actions.


2 thoughts on “I am a silently vulgar person

  1. “Shame on you for trying to belittle someone’s unfortunate situations and by comparing them to others.”

    I really find this speaks volumes. Unfortunately it seems that the only reason we seem to grew compassionate (or at least speaking for me) is because of the unfortunate events I went through. Sometimes what seems terrible, is a blessing. I’m glad you can see things this way and that although you struggle, you glean gems.


    P.S. My bowels are on pointe now. Bless for writing more


  2. So true. We are who we are for what we have been through. We gained empathy and sensitivity to people who are at their unfortunate. I guess, we through crisis and came up stornger and wiser. I’m glad to have you in my life to support me too! 🙂

    p/s: Thank god for blessing thy bowels.


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