To my fellow wallflowers…

Was rewatching the movie, Perks of being a Wallflower. It’s one of the shows that I reach for whenever I’m feeling lost in life.


Why I am a hypocrite

One night my mum asked if I can drink the soup that she is making. As she was stirring the soup, I peered down and saw that it was shark’s fin soup. My mum knew that I do not eat shark’s fin ever since I was an angst animal protector teenager back then.

Mum: But they are canned, which contain mostly the stock and no real shark’s fin.

Me: (Pointing to the strings of shark’s fin) There is a shark’s fin right there!

Mum: (Stirred the soup) Where?

Me: THERE!! (Pointed to the huge chunk)

Mum: (Pushed down the chunks with her ladle) Where?

Me: It was right there, you pushed it down into the soup!

Mum: I don’t see it. So you really don’t want it?

Me: No thanks.

As I sat down at dinner, I saw a bowl of shark’s fin soup next to my plate of rice. I stared at my mum and my mum gave me the ‘What is wrong’ kind of expression. My mum is so good at being pretentious.

I did not drink it, whether it is fake or real shark’s fin soup. I stopped when I was about 16 years old. Been a good 10 over years so am not breaking my record. Of course the real reason is because sharks are becoming endangered so let’s stick to sustainable food source people! To be honest, there is no taste in shark’s fin. If you love it so much, you can substitute it with crab meat and use the same stock. Vegans are frowning down on me, I know.

Yes I am a hypocrite, I love animals yet I eat them. I tried being a vegetarian for 2 whole months and unfortunately I failed. I am slowly trying to incorporate more vegetables and fruits and less animal by products. I may fail at being vegan/vegetarian, but I certainly am giving continuous efforts to cut down on meat products. I also tried to take what is enough for me and avoid wastage.

My family used to go vegetarian for a whole day on Saturday. Unfortunately for my father and brother who work at construction, their legs turned jelly very quickly.

I would also like to quickly add that besides shark’s fin soup that night, my mum also cooked venison. The venison was bought initially for my mum’s Westie due to her skin problems. I guess with venison, the dog still itches like crazy. So my mum cooked it for us to avoid wasting it.

I did not eat the venison either.

Here is the fine difference. I eat lamb but I do not eat venison.



And deer is my spirit animal.

This post is going to offend vegans and vegetarians, I just know it.



I am a silently vulgar person

This blog post is especially for AJ. She misses my blog post and her bowels could not function well if I do not post something on my blog.

So ever since I have been helping out at a start-up company, I got to experience what it was like to do business in a foreign place. It is so challenging because there are shit tons of things you could not control. It made me look at things in a bigger picture. Some of the things I was stressed out before did not seem that much of a big deal now.

As I got to talk with more people, I am beginning to curse vulgarities in my head so much more.

I have known people who struggle with family issues, financial issues, mental wellbeing and basically, struggle with life. I guess this taught me a lot on how I should speak to people and to always speak with kindness because you never who really needs it. I have first-hand experience with anxiety disorder, insomnia and depression. I understood the struggles in finding the right doctor who does not try to dumb you down with medications. The right counsellor who honestly work with you on your issues. The right medications that do not make you want to just kill yourself.

I am not someone who cries easily, which might not be a good thing. When my dogs died, I did not cry at all. I was just numb. I only finally cried weeks later.

During my insomnia period, I cried almost every night. Can you imagine, being so tired mentally and physically, but you just couldn’t sleep? You laid in bed for hours with your eyes shut, but you cannot sleep. I got so exhausted, extremely exhausted and just cried. Crying makes me even more tired but I still could not sleep.

When I mentioned to people about my insomnia and anxiety issues. I received run of the mill senseless responds.

“You are not doing enough”

“It’s your fault that you landed yourself in this situation”

“You are lucky you only have insomnia while there are people who have cancer”

I am not a confrontational person, so I just smile and nodded. In my mind I’m like saying

“Oh my god this woman is a numskull!”

“Does this person know exactly what is called insomnia?!”

“This woman got shit for brains”

I can understand if you are a child or a teenager. But I’m sorry as a working adult who faces tons of people; your EQ is incredibly low. By saying such comments, just goes to show you do not have empathy nor general knowledge.

Just because you do not struggle with sleep, does not mean others are doing fine by default. I did wondered how many people you offended at work that you did not even realized.

Shame on you for trying to belittle someone’s unfortunate situations and by comparing them to others.

It is easy to turn a blind eye and not want to be involved because you are afraid to get yourself into more trouble. That is your decision, I would not stop you. However, you should know that you get what you give in life. When your time comes where you are at the most difficult times of your life, do you wish to receive concern out of obligations or out of sincerity, loyalty and friendship.

To the people who said those senseless comments to me. I am not obligated to help you in times of need in future. I am certainly not going the extra mile to reach out to you and make you happier.

There is this saying that I love.

Enter a caption



You cannot control what will happen to you in future but you can always control your actions.

The art of mispoken words

You know how sometimes people speak and the words came off sounding bad but it is not their true intention? Sometimes we do not quite know how to put our words and actions correctly and people misrepresent it for something really terrible?

I am going to show you 2 examples of such cases.

Case #1

This lady grabs a stray cat and threw it into her car. The cat wailed and fled from it.

What it looks like: This crazy cat lady is trying to kidnap a cat, the cat felt tortured.

What it ACTUALLY happened

One of my family friends used to have a cat which she adopted off the streets. She had it until the cat passed away. She has been thinking about adopting another stray cat for a while now. There was this stray cat that loved to follow her about and loitered outside her shop. One day, she picked up the cat and stroked it’s fur and asked “Do you want to come home with me?”

The cat purred.

What did she do next?

She put the cat into her car.

The cat not knowing what a car is, wailed and fled.

Case #2

This lady asked for tranquilizer gun to shoot her dogs

What it looks like: This crazy dog lady wants to kill her dogs / her house is a dog fighting ring

What it ACTUALLY happened

This lady adopted 2 stray dogs since they were puppies, eyes barely opened and their mother abandoned them. She bottle fed them (too much milk) till they grew up incredibly huge, strong and their heads are extra thick. She is an old lady and she does not have the strength to rein them in for a bath. They kept running about, knocking into things just to avoid taking a bath. She asked a friend if she has a tranquilizer gun to tranquilize them enough so that she could bathe them. I am pretty sure she was half joking. Anyway, right now she does not have the issue anymore as she got someone young to bathe them. For some reason, the dogs respond better to a younger and gentler touch.


What I wish you can take from this is that, what you see might not actually be true and what is true, might not always been seen.

Making snap judgements purely on face value speaks only how poorly executed your mind is at analysing situations.

Have you ever wonder why your mind can only process such mediocre results and see things that many people can see but you just can’t?

Because you need to read things, watch news, talk to people OUTSIDE of your social cliques/status, learn and be aware of the world. Doing that will broaden your knowledge. Doing that will broaden your small tiny world.

Unless of course, you chose to just stay in your comfort zone and live the rest of your life being ignorant of larger issues. That is your life after all, for you to live with and for others to judge.


Rat gang killed my tortoise

This morning, my Dad found one of the tortoises dead. The eyes sockets were bloodied and the legs were eaten away till it showed bones.

I know who did it.

The bloody rats.

And I know why they did it.

We caught one of the fat one in our rat trap the day before.

So this is purely revenge for their fallen brother.

Even though the tortoises belong to my father, I treat it as my own, just like any other pets in the house. If you messed with one our home pets, you are messing with me.

So this is my letter to challenge back at the rat gang because you just messed with the wrong human.

You think you are the coolest and scariest bunch of rats in the hood.

You do not know how scary I can be.


I know the kind of spices that will burn your eyes.

I know the kind of glue that will make you stick to a wall for all eternity.

I can tie you to a bottle of Pepsi with Mentos added to make you fly into oblivion.

I will tie you to a flag pole and have the birds pecked out your eyes (Modern Family’s Cam’s idea).

I should have done what Gloria did when she caught a rat.


My super powers

I went back for a review and told my doctors that I have been feeling a lot of pains and I had an experience similar to sleep paralysis.

She said that the thing with anxiety disorder is that all your senses are elevated or heightened. So even a small action of something brushing against you, you will feel the pain.

Ok so in short, I’m am whiny.

Yes I fear needles so much that doing blood test freaks me out.

My best friend in high school will have a bandaids/plaster ready whenever I got a paper cut. Not that I’m bled a lot but because I’m on the verge of crying or mid faint.

BUT sometimes I DO FEEL REAL PAIN. I feel migraines and have bad period pains.

So when I say the shit is real, THE SHIT IS REAL.

You better believe it.


Weird critters in my home

I have moved about 5 houses in my lifetime. At every house, we have some sort of critters living in there which we try not to disturb them or chase them away.

One of the homes had a toad living under the kitchen sink. It only came out during midnight and has grown accustomed to seeing us. We will get a drink from the kitchen and there it was, the toad looking at us like “Rough day eh?”

I had a garden lizard that always appeared on the fence in the afternoons. As you got closer to it, it will start bobbing its head up and down.

Just a few days ago, I found a dead millipede in my toilet and I’m icky about insects so I called someone to clear it for me.

“There’s a millipede in the toilet!”

The response I receive was not something I expected.

Like ever.

Mum: It lives there.

WHAT lives there!? What lives in our toilet!?

Maybe she did not hear me correctly.

Me: I found a millipede on the bathroom floor!

Sister: Oh yea he likes to jog around the toilet in the morning.

Did I hear myself correctly or did I went into another family’s home and used their toilet.

So I went in front of my mum and sister and repeated what I said.

Me: I’m talking about a millipede.

Sister: I know the millipede you are talking about. It usually comes out in the morning for a jog then go back home. It’s harmless.


An insect that works out more than I do. I’m officially lazier than an insect.

Photo credit:

Me: It’s dead.

Mum: HOW IT DIED!? (Looking at me in shock like a REAL family member had died)

Sis: Oh…that’s too bad. Are you sure?

I’m just going to end it that my mum went to clear the insect. I honestly did not know that we sublet our bathroom floor to an insect training for a marathon in the mornings.

And it died doing that.

So people, death by jogging is real. You people are fooled to think otherwise.

Next story also happened few days ago.

We have a picky rat that kept eating our snacks and instant noodles.

Why picky?

Get this; the rat went into the drawer filled with instant noodles, bit through all the packets EXCEPT for the vegetarian noodles.

So my dad set up 2 rat cage traps in the kitchen.

The first day, it caught something.

It’s a bird.

The second day, it caught something.

It’s the same bird.

You think the same bird would learn to recognize the same danger.

But hell no! Putting food in a metal cage contraption, this means LURRVE.

I like to add that we have a bunch of birds staring into our kitchen daily. They would come in to pick on our food when we are not looking.

I blame it on my dogs.

Instead of chasing them away, they wagged their tails at them.